So I realize that due to the death of my beloved that I’m being given leeway with the way I act. All I have to say is: STOP IT! Look I know that I’m under the stress from the fallout of last winter as well as work, sorting my life out, and hormones*. And that will naturally relay over to how I am and how I act towards others and myself. However I’ve noticed that I’m exceeding that threshold and getting a bit snappy to my friends and coworkers, but only after the fact. Now I don’t like that about myself; I pride myself on being able to be calm tempered in most situations. The way I find myself acting these days sometimes doesn’t come up to those standards. And I know I’m being allowed be this way out of a sense that it’s ok right now. Well it was OK 4 months ago now it’s not anymore, I’m not checking out of this world so I have to live in it. This means working/being with my friends and not snapping at them, among other things.
So what does this mean to you folks? Well, basically, call me on it. Either pull me aside or just say it out loud, or call me later, or write an email if you must. We’re adults: you can say what needs to be said and I can take it without blowing my stack. I asked you all to do this several months ago so consider this a reminder that this is part of being my friend.
If you’re worried that I will bottle it within me until I explode at some later point, don’t worry about that. That was basically my wonderfully rage and depression filled adolescence, and I had to learn the skill of letting go of my anger when it doesn’t serve any purpose. If I have to I’ll hit a pillow or something but otherwise I can deal with it.
So here’s what going to happen, I do something you tell me to stop or figure why I’m being an ass. Thus I expect those of you who are having a hard time approaching me, who happen to be reading this to call me or tell me to my face or write me a concerned and reproving note. If you don’t I will be annoyed and there will be words. I’m expecting you to help me and not telling me isn’t helpful to me. Yes this is about me.
For the rest of you take this to heart.
Annoyed and loving,
*If this bothers you think of long division or kittens.